Learning to Love My New Look

Melissa M. as reported to Keri Wigington

I was eight years old when these white spots started appearing on my knees. I really didn’t think anything of it at first. The spots began to grow to the size and shape of half-dollars. The things went quickly from there.

My mother took my to a doctor and diagnosed me with Vitiligo. Even though I was only a child, he didn’t show me much sympathy. Instead, he told me there weren’t any treatments and dismissed my questions. It was an awful experience that kept me away from dermatologists for many decades.

My childhood was difficult in many ways. But I’ve gone through therapy and found some really amazing friends since then. It’s because of that strong support system that I’ve come out the other side of vitiligo celebrating my skin.

It took me a while to get there.

My Diagnosis and How It Changed My Life

For a time, I covered up the white marks on my legs and arms. All year, I wore long pants with long sleeves and long-sleeved shirts. Even though my parents had barely enough money, they were able to cover up and concealer.

My mom and me would get up very early to go to work. Then, we’d use makeup to cover the vitiligo on my face and neck as much as possible. I wanted to feel normal. However, that was too costly.

In seventh or eighth grade, I began rocking my spots. It wasn’t easy. That’s partly because, along with vitiligo, I was on the heavier side. I was a biracial child living in Vermont. I was a stick out kid and was bullied every day.

Before vitiligo I was confident and made friends quickly. This was something I tried to keep up as I went towards high school. But it’s hard to be social when people are laughing, spitting, and drawing on you. 

My white spots were colored with brown marker by some kids who thought they were doing me an favor. Some tried to remove the vitiligo from my body. Then, there were the people who didn’t want to sit next to me because they thought they might catch something.

All of that had a negative impact on my mental health. But I’ve gone through a lot of personal growth since I was a kid. I’m now comfortable in my skin and have nothing left to hide. It’s liberating.

Learning to Love Your Spots

Things began to change in my 20s and 30s. People started asking me sincere questions and weren’t put off by my skin. Some would say that my vitiligo looked beautiful and that the contrast of pigment only highlighted my strengths.

I thought they were joking at me at first. Because I’d been made fun of for so long and never celebrated my skin, it felt strange for someone else to do it. Now, I 

feel like they must’ve been placed in my life to help me unlock pieces of myself. And now, I’m wide open.

My most recent partner is responsible for some of my growing confidence. They’ve really helped me come out of my shell even further.

For example, I’ve started wearing clothes that show off my spots and doing photo shoots. Sometimes the makeup artist will attempt to hide flaws. But I’ll have to stop them and say I actually want to enhance my vitiligo.

Vitiligo and Adjusting to Living With It

I’ve lived with a chronic skin condition for so long that I can forget I have it. Some everyday tasks are difficult for me. Just by going outside, I can get second- or third degree sunburns.

It’s harder for me to spend time in the sun because I have less pigment protecting parts of my skin. And regular sunblock doesn’t work all that well for me. However, if I do venture out, I must reapply every 30 minutes. After that, I must let it dry. It can quickly turn a great day at the seaside into a nightmare.

Vitiligo makes my eyes sensitive and sensitive to light. Also, my hair has white patches. These spots will lose their color very quickly if I dye it.

And I definitely still get looked at when I’m out in public. I’m a momma to 19-year-old twin boys, and they tend to notice the stares more than I do. They’ll point it out because they get upset. I tend to smile, wave, and say hello to all of them.

Sometimes, I’ll hear a child ask their mom about my skin. I might turn around and lower myself to their level while keeping my distance. And I’ll tell them I was born with two colors instead of one, and isn’t that cool? That’s not exactly how vitiligo works. But often, they’ll turn back and admire their own skin. At that point, the stigma is gone. They know there’s no reason to be afraid.

Yet, I still get stares from people who find me disgusting. And sometimes, I’ll walk up to them and say, this is vitiligo. Would you like me spelling it for you? Because if you’re going to stare for that long, you must have questions. It’s okay if I explain it to you. You can then do your own research.

Melissa M. (40), is a vitiligo advocate. She’s lived with the condition for 32 years. You’ll find her rocking her spots under the handle @TheSpottedBeauty on Instagram. She resides in central North Carolina.